From doctor to healer
A little about my personal journey…
I was never on track to become a physician. I actually studied art education in college, and felt that I wasn’t really cut out for academia. After teaching art, becoming a snowboard instructor and eventually a yoga instructor, it was clear that I was a natural teacher. I believe it was my unique style of learning as a child that created a desire for me to support others in this way. I have always had a way of making something relatable… likely because I was not personally supported in this way growing up.
In my 5th grade yearbook however, we all had to answer the infamous question: What do you want to be when you grow up? Well… next to my name read “Doctor, because I want to help people.” I laughed when I discovered this not long ago, as I must have forgot this core part of myself along the way.
After my intensive yoga teacher training, I took a work trade in Guatemala, where I helped run a retreat center, lead meditation, yoga, cook etc. I took all the retreats that came in, and was introduced to new ways of looking at the body and essentially our experience here. I picked up every book I could get my hands on, and got stuck asking “why?” If we could shift our reality with the power of intention, why were we not talking about this? If there were herbs and homeopathic remedies that could cure disease, why were we not using these? If Carolyn Myss wrote a whole book called Anatomy of the Spirit, why was this not a required read for every physician? I wondered, why did we get sick and suffer? Truthfully no book or podcast could satiate my desire for more, so naturally I enrolled in night classes.
Remember, I studied art undergrad, and although I had a BS, I had a long way to go. At the time Massachusetts was not a licensed state for Naturopathic Doctors, and I honestly didn’t even know they existed. I was on track to get a masters in nutrition, as this would set me up for additional trainings and a way to start working with people. It was an innocent google search that led me to Bastyr University, where they offered a holistic Nutrition program, and right beside that I read “Naturopathic Medicine.” Comparing the curriculum I was immediately drawn to the ND program and enrolled as soon as I possibly could.
Given my history with school, I decided to give it 100% but to not get too discouraged if it weren’t the right path for me. 4 years and a doctorate later, I was feeling pretty good about my accomplishments and had learned SO much. I joined a practice right away and was lucky to have a high volume of patients on my schedule. I practiced primary care, IV therapy, counseling and craniosacral therapy. I treated acutes, complex chronic illness, mold toxicity and Lyme disease, among other things. I was feeling pretty good about myself and my abilities as a doctor… but something was missing.
I watched patients come and go throughout the years, and felt pretty strongly that if we could just identify the root cause (ie: pathogen), we could truly heal. The truth is… I always knew and saw the mind-body connection, but didn’t always have a way of approaching it. I would chat with patients in our visits, gather information, but we never had the opportunity to really dive deep. Over time the same stubborn question started to resurface. Ok, so there might very well be a pathogen to identify and treat, but why do some people get sick and others don’t? Why did this pathogen become problematic? Why does everyone display different symptoms, even when affected with the same pathogen? The questions were going on repeat in the background all day every day.
Dealing with my own health issues, I started to ask why for myself. I started to seek even more alternative ways of thinking about the body and why we become ill. I reached out to energy healers, shamans, chiropractors, acupuncturists, german new medicine, etc. and eventually found Holistic Counseling, which helped me to put all the pieces together. If we could get even more curious, create awareness around limitations and false beliefs, we might actually find the TRUE root cause of disease.
I no longer want to treat illness. I no longer want to diagnose disease.
What I believe so deeply is that if I can support others in being guided back to their path of truth and ultimate health, I can indeed call myself a healer. I am a guide, a mentor, a teacher. And as long as I remain true and honest to what I believe the root cause of dis-ease is, I can be of utmost service to those who are called to work with me.
I currently feel so aligned with who I am and what I have to offer and it is truly an honor to be doing this work in this lifetime.
